I Speaks My Words & Bear The Consequences << HiMm & HeRr >>

2007-01-23T11:29:00.000+08:00

PSP has just started. First badge of matches was last Sunday at Bedok (S.C.O.E). Overall, we didnt perform up to standard. Well thats according to Abg Ramli. But Nevertherless, we haf somemore coming up. And I think we'll be better. Insya Allah

Been busy trying to juggle revision and training. But looks like it, I'm spending more ime training rather than revising. Hah!! The event mite be next Sunday. Schedule still isn't out. BoO-HoO!! But watever, practice continues till we get it rite... Proud to have my triplet.. You go gaLs!! HeHe..

Back to matters of the heart. I don't know sometimes if I m ever doing the rite thing. Turning back and going against is not my way. But, I've done it so many times. And now, I don't wanna repeat the same thing. It hurts. Its very pressurising and depressing. I've always wanted to be on my own. To soul-search. To untangle those knots that have been in my mind for as long as I could remember. But when I got the chance, its blown away. Y? Becoz I was too nice. M I? So wat shall I do? Be mean? Mebbe I should? To everyone? And only think of myself. Argh! I donno. I m so confuse. Its hard to talk it out coz I m sure it'll be misunderstood greatly. So wat I do is just to keep it to myself and shut myself up. I will be that YANTI that I use to be. The one who keep feelings to herself and be greatly misunderstood by others. The one who is always being difficult. I had enough of being nice. So let's vote..

a) Yanti should be nice to everyone and swallow watever was said to her
b) Yanti should be mean and don't care about people's feeling
c) Yanti should just think of herself and never regard others exist

So which one u prefer.?? Haf fun deciding...

2007-01-11T21:09:00.000+08:00

Blog-hopped.

Oh ya "She should have won"

Hmmm...

Mebbe I should think so too.

To hear people say it could have been unfair coz THEY were involve hit me hard till TODAY.

Mebbe it cud've been a joke.. But... nvm

4 days have passed.

And its still in my mind.

Thank you.

Gf, you deserve the win.

So now you're in, I wish you luck.

And guess what!! I'm not

So means you're better than me.

Congrats!! (No intention of sacarsm)

Whatever. I shan't let comments get to me that much.

I'll just concentrate on what I've been given, the responsibility

I'm out....

I had no intention of passing bad remarks. Nor do I have any intention of making foes. This is where I shall start what I use to do sometime back. Then, I tot I would never need to do this again. But, seems that I will. What a thing to start a new year. Thanks.

2007-01-08T09:18:00.000+08:00

Morning pPLe!!

And So I did not go for my first lesson on my first day of skool in the new term and a new year. Cool huh!! I think I m having insomnia. But there is class at 3pm today. So I'll be going to skool later. YipPie?? And I'll be off to meet my silat-mate to practice and complete my regu routine..!! Heh!! I'm suddenly addicted to it. And I know I need alot of practice and help. As much as I can get. Help pple help!!! Luckily, they are there to help me. Thx frens!!

I practically...

Sleep practicing...
Sit practicing...
Bath practicing...
Walk practicing...

Crazy as it seems but true. Coz I know I wan this so much. I will try doing anything for it. But some pple mite think I m not putting time enough for them. But wat ever that is. I hope they'll understand me.

Had saringan AGAIN yesterday. At ferst I wasnt scheduled to fight. It was ok for me coz I wasnt in the rite mood. But since Diana was injured, I had to fight with Mardia. It was a good fite. I swear I tot I was gonna lose. Looking at my performance in my first and second round. Was a lil bit demoralised but I kept telling myself not to give up. I will gain the points. And I mean it. And so kicks after kicks. I felt like a punching bag and kicking padding.. And my main aim was to fite back. I could feel the anger and the sudden enthusiasm building up.. I think almost everyone saw it. Like some say " I was a bit emotional " Hahaha.. So obvious ar? Then came the first kejatuhan. That was when my semangat came. I was waiting for more. And ready for more. The moment I had a chance I did it AGAIN!! I dunno how many times I did it. By the 2nd time I was already smiling. And in the crowd I heard " Wah muka ada senyum.." & "Tadi muke fierce skarang happy sey"

And After yesterday, my mistakes were much clearer to me:

1) Jgn kejar!!!
2) Give more power!!!
3) Jgn tunggu lar pistol !!!
4) Tendang tinggi skit !!! Jgn lazy-leg !!! (Courtesy of HiMm)

I won!! 3-2 !! It was luck I guess. My last round help me I guess... Alhamdulillah... But I still need to brush up.. More sparring please... I m hungry for more.. Sorry to those who I've hurt ok. Ako ni kalau da into something. I dun care who I m fiting.. I dun care who I m making kejatuhan on.. Maaf ya kalau terkuat!! Hehehe.. K lah.. till here !!! Bye !!

2007-01-06T15:21:00.000+08:00

A month has passed and here I m blogging.
A new year a new entry
2006, a year full of memory for me.
A year of laughter, sadness, tears, misery, love, hate, changes, joy and wat-not
A year full of experience and lessons.
A year that I fell in love again with the person who hurt me and then I fell outta love
A year I found someone new who now, together with me is opening a new book in our lives
A year I found myself a new interest and will carry on with it. (Insya Allah)
A year that I lost so much weight in... (Hehe)

So what will 2007 bring me ??

I just hope it'll be a brighter year for me
I wanna graduate safely and smoothly with a Diploma in hand!!!
I wanna be a better person than I use to be!!!
I wanna get a good paying job so I can support myself and my family!!!
I wanna be a more filial daughter, a good gf, a better friend and a good student!!!
I wanna bring medals home to be proud of!!! (Insya Allah)
I wanna improve my sparring skills just like those good pesilat(s)!!!
I wanna be more physically fit!!

I guess all that above can be my resolution for 2007. I will work hard on it. Nothing is impossible when you have faith!! I m sure I have faith that I can make it all happen. Till here. Tata!!

**Some memorable 2006 pics will be posted up soon!! Watch ouT for it!!**

2006-12-10T20:11:00.000+08:00

You wanna know how frustrating it is when you blog and blog but then no one actually reads. I mean even tag. And when you go missing, people tag and ask you to update. Like.. wTf ?!? OK shut uP... My anGer ends here. FuLLsTop.

Today, we had grading at BPCC for the promotion to orange belts for the yellow belters like me. A nerve-wrecking and I should say a memorable day for me and of coz the rest too. We were all jittery, had butterfly in our stomach and excited. One by one we gave out best shot with the jurusan and the olahraga. If you were to ask me about my performance during the grading, I give myself 6/10. I know that I cud have done better, eliminating the mistakes and the nervousness. But Alhamdulillah, all who went for the grading, pass the test and will be changing to orange belt on the 23rd December 2006, HARI SELIGI at BPCC. Congrats You guys !!! May you all succeed in your future involvement in SELIGI TUNGGAL ANGKATAN. See you guys at Hari Seligi !! Ahahhaha

I sense something wrong with the senior galz in the club. Towards me, I mean. Or mebbe I was just imagining. Oh well, whatever. If there is ever a dispute among us (not saying any names or referring to anyone in particular) lets settle it in a nice way. We're family afterall. I dun wish to create any unhappiness either. Whatever.

Schools gonna be out soon. For three weeks then I will need to start my mugging A.S.A.P Exams are around the corner. 29 January 2007 to be exact. I need to set aside time to study and also to prepare myself for PSP on the 21 Jamuary 2007. I m pretty sure that I need to go for saringan. But nevertherless, even if I don't make it for PSP, my utmost support goes to those who made it. I'll be working towards PSK in May. Insya allah. I know PSK is harder as the national players are also competing. So means I need to be up to their standard. Haiz. Lah, ckp banyak2 pn tak guna if I don't start now. So means, I have to start NOW. hahahahha.. Crap lar the wayI talk.

Its reports and assignment time. ToodLes PpLe!!

USELESS

2006-12-07T10:26:00.000+08:00

Have you ever have this feeling of being the most useless person ever to live on earth.? The most useless person your friends, family and even ur partner. Have you? Well, I have. On many occasions. But there is nothing I can do about it coz I m unable to. Nevertherless, I know I need to do something about it and not just brood over the matter.

I feel useless when YOU say "whatever" to my apologises

I feel useless when YOU say "Even when I say, there's nothing u (myself) can do"

I feel useless when I can't help YOU in bad time

I feel useless when arguements happen between us and YOU point out my mistakes

I feel useless when I just keep quiet and you pour out ur problems knowing that I can't really do much about it

I feel useless when YOU just keep things to yourself

I feel useless when I can't be there for you when YOU need me the most

I feel useless when I see people being able to do things that I can't

I feel useless to see me fail to do a certain task given and see people doing it smoothly

I feel useless each time my parents compare me with my sis

I feel useless when they do a money talk thing. eg. giving them money etc.

I feel that way. I keep it inside. I cried it out all night before I go to sleep when noone can hear me. I wish I could tell them what I feel and what I tot of the situation. Its hard for me to do so coz I m afraid to face the consequences. They mite think I m being rude or mebbe unreasonable. Worst still selfish to my own feelings. ONLY THINK OF MYSELF. I m trying hard to concentrate on other stuff just to put my mind off it. I pretended to be happy infront of friends and family and HimM... But, only god knows what I m really feeling inside.

Ya Allah, Give me the strength to move on in this life and to face all this challenges that you have given me. For only you who can lead me to the right path in life. A-meen

As I m writing this post, tears are starting to roll...

2006-12-04T09:14:00.000+08:00

HAPPY FIRST BIRTHDAY TO THIS LITTLE ONE...

MARSYA BATRISYIA BINTE MOHD. HARISMAN!!

My first niece celebrates her first birthday yesterday and is officially one today. A very active little girl who is super duper cute *cough* like me *cough* Her laughter and smile never fails to make everyone's day. Her mummy, despite her busy school schedule... her daddy.. her nyai her yayi.. her atuk her nenek.. and all her aunts and uncles... As for me, each time I look at her calm face, it just soothe my heart. I can have a very bad day, just return from a very huge argument, each time I return home and she's around, her laughter and smile and the way she greets me makes me forget all those.. Shyte !! I m close to tears.. *breathe in... breathe out* Nevertheless, she is such a cutey.

Marsya darling, I know that you are too young to read my blog. But I m sure mummy will read this. May you be blessed with good health and keep the smile and laughter coming. Make mummy and daddy proud when you grow up k.. Dun be naughty!! Just be a lil mischevous ok !! Hehe... just like me and I bet ur mummy and daddy are too when they were younger..

Since you are becoming an elder sister soon. Be a good one ok !! Help mummy and daddy take care of lil bro. Jgn bully2. Nak bully ajak Mak Bhol.. Hehehe... Take care my dear !!

Hehe. Mak Bhol loves you.. So does everyone !! MMmMMmMuUuuUuUAAaAaAaAkKKkKkkKzzZzZz !!!

All blessings and prayers to you my lil one...

2006-12-04T08:31:00.000+08:00

One week past after my previous post huh. Oh well. Didnt have much time to update my blog. Really. FYP is DoNE !!! WooOOOoOHHhHhOoOOo !!!! At last! I m in class now. Its a good time to blog coz I know that I will not be free to blog later at home. Be werking later. Didn't go much of training lately. Startin to wear out due to skool werk and late nite back home from werk. And now I m sleepy... Urgh !! Missed Saturday training coz overslept all the way from 7+ to about 12mn.

Yesterday had wedding invitation. STA was doing the kompang and silat presentation during the event. Despite a lil of cocked-up. It was ok. *thumbs up* to all ya !! It was a job well done !! *Hip Hip Hooray* Kinda like the decor at the guys side.. Simple and woody. Nicey. I m a simple person. Simple decor like that really catch my attention. The colour and all.

After the end of the presentation and all, went home to change then accompany him home to get change and head to Pasir Ris for Marsya's birthday chalet. That super cutey niece of mine is super friendly even when at the wedding. Cute Cute Cute.. My clone. Hehe... Ok stop puking pple !! Hahaha...

Gotta get going... Tata !!

2006-11-25T00:15:00.000+08:00

I Lost a Jeans !!!

Yes I did. How I lost it? Lemme tell you. Was having training at BPCC just now. And so I went to the toilet to get changed. So since the cubicle do not haf any place like fer me to hang my bag and clothes, I placed my bag on top of the bin and my clothes at the "parapet" at the wall. (You dun get d pic do you?) Nvm. Without me realising, the top part of the wall wasnt covered with that metal thing. And so when I haf change completely, I was shock to find my jeans missing. A funny tot that came to my mind was someone next door wanted to play a prank on me and take my jeans. So, being me, I climbed over the bin and.... there it was my jeans. I shud say in an un-save-able position. It was more that 1m down and I had no way to get it. Told some pple but nuthing was done or even cud be done. So I left it there. And there it was, sitting in the dark, my JEANS. Haiz.. This means I need to get a new jeans huh.

Anyway, training was kinda ok today. Not so tough nor easy. Got to sort of spar with Eqyn. FuN3!! Despite my almost swollen ankle and the pain I felt in my small finger of my left hand, I had fun. Was told to like lose 1kg by next week. Kene turun class A beb !! Haiyo.. Bleh ar.. But seriously, I really dunno if I would consider playing fer PSP. The tot of the comp starting exactly 1week before my final semester exams really scare me. I really donno if I can cope or not. I need to find a way.... FAST !!!

Date of PSP: 20 Jan (thats wat I heard)
Exam Period: 29 Jan-10Feb

To Who It may concern

2006-11-23T15:02:00.000+08:00

To MR.

Yeah I did write that entry for you previously. About something that I was confused about and MITE haf jump into conclusion. You know who you are and I know who you are talking about. maybe the terms that I used in my previous post was somehow unappropriate or rather harsh. Pardon my languange. Yang penteng, I'll make this entry as short as possible.

I m not that type of person who listens to one side. And I seldom jump into conclusion about stuff that I m unsure about. But in dis situation I think I did due to confusion and of coz khabar2 angin. And it really pisses me off. Well, at first I tot I shudnt interfere and tot again that things will be over. But NO!! It didnt. So I'll seek the truth. If you think that I deserve to listen to the REAL truth from you, by all means, I m ready to hear. At least I get a clearer picture. But that doesnt mean that I'll believe you 100%. I'll seek truth from the other party. Maybe another, a third party.. PARTYWORLD... Watever... ok thatz crap.

For wat I know, nothing will leak. Coz I wont let it. But then again, its really your decision my friend. I came in peace, and I will walk back knowing the real truth in peace too. As far as I m concern, I don't mean to make any enemies in the club. Dislike?? Mebbe. But won't HATE.. HATE mite be a 4 letter werd only but fer me it mean big... Paham? Tak?? Nvm.

So my dear MR, like I mention, if you think I deserve to know, tell me. I don't haf to tell u where u can reach me do I?? It mite serve as a good purpose to me. But then again, we'll just see. If you think that you guys need to talk den talk. You think that you are not happy, why dun U approach him?? Dun tell me you dun dare. Blogging about it only won't work.

By the way, thanx fer that info. Heard about it too and I dun mind staying the way I m. Does it makes a different. I don't haf to show, do I? Tapi kalau dapat Alhamdulillah. K nak gi keje.... Bye !!

GROW UP !!!

2006-11-21T19:23:00.000+08:00

Why are you being so childish my friend? Don't you haf a life? Why must you be bad-mouthing people uh? You think you are dat damn perfect? You think that only you can do wat u tot u can? And not otherS? Look boy, she's not even urs and plainly, you dun haf the freaking right to stop anyone from having a conversation with her. Be it personal or in the public.

Being professional you say? You are not even close. You can't even act ur age !! You can't even settle things people your age shud. You think fist talk works? I don't think so. You'll b surprise where you will end up. And I bet you gonna learn from that.

Stop being paranoid. It irritates me as an outsider. It makes me wanna laff everytime you wrote wat u gonna do. That childish act. Stop it okie !! The reason y I tot I shud interfere, this involves someone close to me. And seems that you are trying to ruin her relatioship just because of your own ego... You dare do that and you see where u sit.!! I mean it MR !! Try me. U mite see the ugly side of me. I shan't say more.

Wanna get ready for training. C u there MR !!

FYP driving me CRAZY...

2006-11-21T17:30:00.000+08:00

Submission is tomorrow and we are still struggling with the parts in the report. Seriously I don't know what HE wants from us. Things always doesnt seem to go his way. I mean the way he tot was rite. Like wat the hell. Here we are trying to do ammendments to the report and me blogging. Hah ! sometimes I just feel like giving up but I know I can't. Not at this time. C'mon guys we can do it ok. And he is still wanting us to present to him the discussion and results. URGH !!!! *Breathe in.... breathe out* Haiz...

Having training tonight and I just can't wait. Why? Relieving my stress through training. Is a better way then sitting doing nothing, being so stressed with school and FYP. Enough of complaining. going back to... nothing else... but FYP !! Urgh !! The tot of if...

Real presentation.... NEXT WEDNESDAY !!! URGH !!!

I Miss Euuu....

2006-11-20T22:06:00.000+08:00

Its not even a day we haven talk and I'm missing him already. Tak leh concentrate nak buat keje ni. I m suppose to be werking on my FYP report. I m gonna be dead if he knows I m blogging instead of doing my work. Baru tadi kene marah.. nak kene mara lagi ke. Why? For procastinating my work till the last minute and late night. And then, sleeping late and thus not enough sleep. Getting lesser and lesser rest. Falling sick so easily. Losing my voice. Adoi !!!

Arrgghh !!! Rindu Rindu Rindu !!! PuuuSSsSsiiiiNnnnggGG!!!!

Dah3!!! Nak buat keje !! Bye !!

Dah gila la ako.. Da mabuk.. hUakakaka

I m still alive....

2006-11-20T08:30:00.000+08:00

Its a miracle that I m still alive and blogging. Life has been very great for me especially with the new person in my life.. Thank you for being there for me. The month of Syawal is almost coming to an end. For the first three weeks of the month, I had managed to spend my Syawal fully. However, I suddenky realise that I had many things that are undone. Especially my school work. Oh damn !! I shall enjoy every sleep that I will haf as I know that I will be deprived of sleep soon.

Have been down with on and off fever, flu and bad cough fer the past weeks. But being a very stubborn person, I still attend training. Stubborn3!!! Biler nak baik ar asek pushing myself jek. ape nak buat dokk... I need more training and I know that very well, I m nothing compared to the rest. Takkan nak ketinggalan kan... Haiz... Kene mara pon takkan jalan beb.. Haiz... But now I m suffereing the consequences.. Not enough rest and my health is deteoriating. Ya Allah Gimme the strength and good health to carry on my activities.

I mite update my next post with some Hari raya pics.. That includes: FAMILY OUTING, SP OUTING, ALAMAK OUTING, DAMAI OUTING and lastly, PERJUMPAAN HARI RAYA STA. Insya Allah. I gotta go.. Class is on.. Bye !

I'm back for the moment

2006-10-18T14:34:00.000+08:00

HeLLLLOOooooooooOOoooOooOOoOoOoO pPLe !!!!!

Haha... Ok I m back from such a long disappearance. Its not as if its unusual for me to disappear for a long time like this. Usually, my disappearance marks me wanting to be alone, too busy occupying myself so tt i wont think of stupid stuff... But now, things change. Now I m occupying myself with things that I enjoy doing. I went out with people that I love going out with. Well, busy with work and skool (FYP) is the normal stuff..

Besides that, I've been busy being active in my Silat commitments. Recently planned IFTAR at Toa Payoh West CC and Thank God it was successful. But I heard there are more in store for me... Hmmmm... Well, just see. I've been busy going for training at different places in the preparation for the new training ground that is opening early next month at Bukit Batok. I will be busy practicing and reaching home late almost every other day. Sometimes I don't even have the chance to touch the computer. By the time i reach home I will be dead tired and forget it. But I had fun. Learning new things. Brushing up my skills. Can't wait for more. Furthermore. I think this is a better wat of spending my nites away. Hehe..

Things are starting to change. I don't think I will be the same person as I use to be. I will be happier now. !! Yeah ! As I haf found someone to share the happiness, laffter, craps and wat-ever-you-name-it with. I won't say who nor I won't hint. For those who noe, can jolly well, keep ur mouth shut and for those who dunno, dun pretend like you know !! Hahaha !! Ok stop the crap... I gotta get my reports going. Cya in my next entry...

OucH!! I got bruises all over my body.. But I had fun !! Weee !!

2006-10-03T11:00:00.000+08:00

Been wanting to update since my last post. Thinking of posting newly taken pictures. But due to my busy schedule, I failed to do so. Its the second week of school and everything is going fine. (currently) Work is fun. Starting to have fun working despite the low hourly rate. But thats fine. Been breaking fast at work with my collegues and I just felt like home. Hehehehe..

M in school now basically doing nothing. Today only me and mum breaking fast at home. sis has gotten a new job. Yay!! Somewhere. But of coz pay higher den me ler. Cheettt.. Blanje eh !! After breaking fast shud be gng training at Marsiling and be going Canberra on Thursday coz will be missing training on Saturday due to IFTAR at Darul Mawa.

I think after that need to go back to training ground to discuss with my Silat-mate Diana abt that mass IFTAR they are gonna have at Toa Payoh. Haiz, pasal ako active ako jadi orgniser. Nasib baik dgn Diana. Been sometimes since I do planning for interaction session and all this events. The last time was for a camp. I forget lar wat camp. Floorball eh? Ntah eh. Well back to my story, Ya, need to plan some interactive games and group bonding games while waiting for IFTAR, the timing and the food. Haiyo.. Ok lar GtG... C ya in next entry. ADioZzz !!

p/s: I think I found a new sweetheart. hEex

The Next Singapore Idol...

2006-09-26T05:32:00.000+08:00

Yesterday nite was a very nervewrecking nite for me and of coz i bet for all those who have been following the second season of Singapore Idol. Even if I wasnt there to witness it face to face. I had fun watching the performance at home. Endless screaming and oh-i-am-melting-looking-at-Hady sort of thing going on in the house with the two oh-so-belo sisters. Yes yes...

Number after number of Sunday nite's performance made us more confuse as of who will be the next idol. Of coz we wanted so much of Hady to grab the title of Singapore Idol. And made it the next malay who made the minorities proud. But come to think of it. Jon wasnt bad afterall. His first and last number was good. And yeah, I was pretty mesmerized with his performance. But I still prefer Hady's version of the Sg Idol 2 single "You gave me wings". So soulful can.. Make me so the cair. He was simply cute.. Hady Hady Hady...

As soon as the voting line was open, I frantically send my votes in. Call me Kiasu.. Well, at least I made the decision of who I wanna be my idol. I took part in the determination of Singapore representative in the singing industry. If you think that's not enough, I use mom's phone to vote too. And the touching thing is that she don't mind. Here's our convo...

Me: Mom, can I borrow your phone?
Mom: Wanna sms rite?
Me: Ya.. (abit scared) wanna vote
Mom: Vote for who?? that jonathan ar? Hahaha
Me: NO lar.. Hady... wan Hady to win
Mom: There go take my phone.. go vote.. Tell me when the results is out.

Sweet kan my mother. So, like every 15-30 minutes she will come in the room and ask, who win. We keep telling her results not out... And when the results was finally announced, the two belos screaming so loud that it made our nephew scared. Hahahha.. So happy. Hady won lar!! what else.. So happy...

No doubt he, like Taufik who look super great last nite and sang his new song so nice, was a performer before the show. Some said its unfair as he's more experience than Jon. Well, lemme tell you, this man here has dream and he wanna be recognise. True, he's been performing at clubs, pubs wat-so-ever. Compared to Jon who haf lesser performing experience. The least is that Hady got the courage to showcase his talent in front of millions of people. Come to think about it, he is doing what he does best, entertain us by singing and also make young lady like us go goo-goo-gaa-gaa over him..

What ever it is, he won already eh people !! Get a life of your own. hello !! *do that snapping thing* Haha... ok i GtG.. working on my FYP report now... Tata... Ya I noe its a bit early.. But I wanna get things done ASAP.. Going training tonite. Weeee.. Till Den !!

FINALLY UPDATED...

2006-09-24T11:41:00.000+08:00

Been close to two weeks since I last updated huh. Tell you wat, someone who's always keeping herself busy with work, skool and training, wouldnt have much time to type her time away. Like who?? Like me... But nevertherless, I had fun.. Tiring myself.. Hehe.. I felt tired, but good after that. Coz as far as I noe. I didnt waste my time on nothing. I spend it to achieve satisfaction, self-motivation and skills. If you noe wat I mean. I don't think I had anymore time to waste on thinking of silly stuff and brooding over unsuccessful relationship. I think I'll just live life as it is and enjoy every second and every one in my life.

School semester are here. And me? Prepared? Mebbe? My previous results was not so disappointing but also not so satisfying for me. I did made an improvement compared to the one before but I guess there's alot of room for improvement. Insya allah, dis semester I'll try even harder. And I noe I can make it. And after completion of this em, I shall be a satisfied lady with satisfying results. FYP is I think going ok. I'll just hope we'll scrape thru.

Been going often for training these days. Suddenly I feel the great urge. I mean like suddenly. I dunno y. Mebbe the mindset of improving my skills and also spending time doing something effective and not just waste my youth away k. Ya Ya Ya.. Some people have been teasing me of my wish of joining PSP in December. But I guess. I'll pass that la. I dun think I m up to that standard yet. Mebbe some other comps next year insya allah eh !! But whatever it is, I'll still train as well. I think my tendangan has improve a lil compared to the last time except my back kick lar. Must learn how to kick straight like Fadh (ehem ehem). And that jump thingy, still need to master. Kejatuhan... Hmmm... Tend to use my arm strenght then my leg. Ishkk.. The bottomline is, I still nedd to improve ALOT. And there is something that I have to learn to give up, if I wanna continue here. Well, that's for me to know and for no one to find out. Something that I've been doing in my life. Something only I know lar!! Muakakakkaka...

The fasting month is here. The holy month of Ramadhan. Its time for me to lose some weight in this month. But I think I'll just maintain it lar. Hopefully can fit into my Hari Raya costume... Hehe.. Gotta Go I guess... Tataz !!

UPDATE..

2006-09-12T23:45:00.000+08:00

Pardon me and excuse me for the MIA for the past week. Been busy wif school and work. Nothing much happening last week as I was busy working my ass off. I'll just make a quick recap.

8 September

Went for a last training after work at Kallang. But due to the rain. the training wasnt as effective as it should be. So it was basic formation. Then we went off to eat at KFC before all heading home.

9 September

Woke up in the afternoon. Got washed up as my sis frens are coming over. My sister had her first performance in ITE at Taman Warisan. As a support I went to see her perform and everything was fine despite the lil mess. But overall it was ok. Sis look fabulous that day. I couldn't help but to talk pics of her. So pretty tau !! I shall put up some of her pics. Here it goes...

There you go. After the show I went off to Darul Mawa for their BBQ nite. The kids were performing and they were cute as heaven. The finale was the karaoke session. I had fun singing away... Unfortunately no pics. But I had fun.

10 September

This is the day for our tournament. The day we have been waiting for. A whole day event, Despite the rain, we carried on. Matches after matches. We made it thru to the semis. But was defeated by the team ABC. However, we came in 3rd in the category. That was a success. An achievement for us. Being brougth together less den two months prior the tournament. With some hindrance in the way. Alhamdulillah we faced it. As a team. Congrats to all sisters that made that day happen. May we be able to bring back the glory of Alamak.com once more in the future, insyaallah.

Shall update and upload pics some other day. Kinda tired after going for my silat training just now at Marsiling after work. Back to work tomorrow. I wanna sleep. Till den...

Back at last

2006-09-04T12:20:00.000+08:00

What a weekend I had. Started out fine. Due to my busy werking schedule from Monday to Thursday, I only had the chane to pack my stuff on Friday morning before my family chalet. Overall, it was fun. What could beat the weekend well-spent with the family. Been a long time since I did that. I purposely took the weekend off just to spend time with family. No werk. Just relax. As usual, we had activities such as swimming, bowling, karaoke, movie marathon, bbq-ing, sleeping, eating and sleeping (err did I just mention that?). I slept alot sia. Really. Even overslept and missed my Sunday netball training. Haiyo. But its nice to be sleeping your weekend away since that wat I've been deprived on. Hehe. Ok shan't talk much.. Lets post some pics of the family..

Our Home For The weekends

Nahdha Chilling. Cute aBesZ !

Marsya Looking Cute !! Marsya SliMshady.. haha

Girls just wanna have fun. We had fun !!

THe cake for the August and September people

A closer look. Collage done by My sis

Cake cutting ceremony lead by the oldest bday couple. My dearest mom and dad

The "BBQ Man" of the nite. My brother

... And the assistant

Youngest bowler of the family. Auni. 7 years old

Power of three..

Lane for the kids

Ape kene ngan pakcik ako ni?? Pasrah pasal tak strike..

Me in action... Cheybah !!

2006-08-29T23:00:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I just feel like letting go.
But at times I feel I dun want to
I don't wanna do it for the wrong reason
I noe there is still some love in me for him
Even when I m aware the way he treat me isn't rite
I believe that things can change, he can change, we can change
But it's all the matter of time
Then again, when? How?
I am not sure.
Just wait and see
Like he always say "Only God can judge me"
True, only God can judge someone.
Only God knows why a person do a certain move
Only God knows what a person truly feel.
No one else does, even if they say they do. -ShaTteReDLaDy

**************************************************************************************
Here's some pics of me and sis..
Sisters by blood
Different personality
Experiencing the same phase in life.

*Hearts* her many2

Spot the difference. Don't we look identical?

Ok thatz all for tonyt. Gonna get a good nite sleep. Werking morning tomorrow and having training. Phew !! Bye

Dead I m....

2006-08-28T14:04:00.000+08:00

Exams are over. Yet I m still stressed out. Y? I know y. But its hard for me to put it in words. I've been enjoying myself with the company of my netballers and workmates. but I found something is still amiss. Like there's something that is indeed missing thus making myself incomplete. After some soul searching. I realised. Its real love that I've been missing. A love from someone that you love who will love you back. The love that only you and the person share with no interference. The love that is sincere, full of trust and love that makes you happy and secure instead of sad and scared. I'm missing that. Found myself crying to sleep for no particular reason. Why am I doing this again?? Shud I believe what I've heard, but yet to see. Does he even love me anymore like we use to.. 3 years back. Does he?? M so stressed. Depressed. And this made me did this....

His name.. Carved..

Don't ask me why I did this. Be angry at me go ahead. I dun know what's on my mind. I did it, in the middle of the nite. I cut myself just to feel how it hurts. Forgive me. I'm hurt. *OuCh !!*

New Hair Cut

2006-08-24T15:13:00.000+08:00

And so I decided to trim my fringe and make more layer to my hair. Was thinking of do the "Rahimah" hairstyle but ended up some Cina-ish look. But Who cares. Sis don't like it. According to her, she didnt hate it.. Only that she didnt like it. Hah !! What difference.. Mom says I look like when I was nine. (as if she remember. Mebbe.. Haha) But I like it though. At first was kinda frustrated with the fringe coz it a bit shorter den expected. But I manage to comb my hair different styles. :) Shall go get clips, bands and more hairbands. Even if I don't, I'll grow into it. What the heck. The hair will grow fast trust me. So being me, after the haircut, its cam-whoring with the new style. And so I took pics using webcam. Comment lar if you want to ok.. I don't really mind actually.

Hehe My new hair cut.. How How??

Front View.. Fringe too short..

Tied my hair.. Look abit like sis though. Haha..

Here comes the cina-ish look when I tie my hair...

Here's another.. letting the hair down... but clip on the side..

So how? Ok? No? Whatever. Its done already. Nevermind. Sooner or later it'll grow pe.. Den can redo.. Hahaa.. Ok.. Off to get accesories. Then Study. Will update about idol tonite. Bye..

P/S: I voted for Hady !! Go Hady Go !! He's my next idol.

2006-08-21T00:42:00.000+08:00

I M CRYING NOW....

I MISS HIM SO BADLY

WHERE ARE YOU??

I NEED YOU??

I NEED A HUG..

I NEED YOUR HUG

I NEED YOUR KISS

I WANNA BE IN YOUR ARMS...

I WANNA SEE YOUR FACE, YOUR SMILE, YOUR BROWN EYES...

I MISS YOU !!!

MY LEG HURTS..

*Random Entry of the ShaTTeReDLaDy*

What a Sick week

2006-08-17T11:19:00.000+08:00

Been sitting at home since Monday to do my mugging. Well, thankfully I managed to finish my notes on Tuesday. That includes my whole FRAG CHEM and half of PPCHEM. Thank God. !! But Been under the weather since Sunday night after netball training at Mawa. I think I'm having a swollen throat. On top of that Bad cough with flu. and I m still unwell till today. Will be having netball training on Saturdays afternoons and then silat at night and another netball training netball training on Sunday. Tomorrow having my first paper. Hope that I can manage. Insya Allah. Furthermore will be working tmrw. So that means no Honeydew IB for me at work or any cold drink. Solely plain water ok Yanti !! *Sigh*

Since I've been muggging for two whole straight days, I decided to go for a movie yesterday with my movie partner. Yay ! At last gotta watch The Fast and The Furious Tokyo Drift. The show was fantastic, marvellous, speedilicious, awesome !!! Ok I'm outta adjectives. It made me aw-ed so many times... And I said dozen of "Siallah !!! " and "Baik ah". Coz Seriously the movie was BaiK Dokk !!! I mite be a bit outdated.. but I gotta watch it with my movie partner!! And one thing I can't stand is this couple next to us making out... Digusted to the core man !! My movie partner was like "Tenok free show org romen" and I went like "Hello, I'm here to watch a movie not to see pple make out!" I think they heard me. But wat the fuck lar... I paid bloody 7 bucks to watch a movie.. Not to hear that oh cutey yet irritating moan of the gal... Wat the hell.. Only can afford 14 bucks for two and make out in the cinema huh !! Go add a few more dollars and get a bloody room lar asShOLeS !! Irrittating sak...
If they are teens yang I regard as "baru nak naik", I dun mind.. I think they are older than me. I just can't understand this pple !! Haizz !! Enuf with that anger k.

Gotta get going and doing some last minutes revision... Toodles pple.. Shall blog on Saturday if I have the time before going for netball.

NETBALL TOURNAMENT 10 SEPT..

PSP IN DECEMBER...

GRADUATING IN MARCH 2007

PHEW...

--== ShaTteRdLaDy maKiNg HeR eXiT==--

The Day of Confession

2006-08-13T23:43:00.000+08:00

Haven been blogging for the past few days huh. Not much that I have been up to. Err, went to watch the firewerks on Wednesday after my shift. I wasn't so grand as last year coz wasnt tt much compared to last year lar. Then it was all back to work work work... Haven't been resting much. Always wanted to study but ended up too tired to do so. But resting didnt help coz my body wasn't resting much as well. I think I m falling sick soon. And the bad news of all... I M GAINING WEIGHT !!! NO!!! TIDAK !!! I have to lose weight ok to 48kg or 49kg ? Possible tak eh? Tat means another 4kg to 5kg. Ish !! *Less food less food..*

Yesterday had our silat performance at Canberra CC. The opening of a new training centre for our club after clinching numerous victory. Toa Payoh pple arrived later than the rest coz of the bus. When we reach there, they were already rehearsing. Luckily we had our practice last week, so we're not so unfamiliar with the move. At last, I learn and manage to do the Gerak 17. The thing ended at 9++. Went home with Maksu. In the car felt that pain in ma head.. AGAIN. But tahan jek. Ape nak buat kan... Haiz..

Today went Mawa for netball. Played for a while. ONLY. Didnt play much. Had a talk with Dearie. At least I gotta know some stuff here and there. Well, now its time for me to make the decision. What should I do?? Where shud I start ??

Are you giving hope to me?
Is it worthful for me to wait for you?
Where are you?
Is all the concern and care and love tt you give me all true?
Are you true to me?
Why do I get silence from you?
Am I ready to let YOU go?

I cried everynite
Thinking of this world
That I travelled myself to
Have I made a mistake
In choosing this path
The one I thought
Would bring me happiness
That will crave a smile
Will I be proof wrong
With this choice

Deep inside my heart
Is a scar left bleeding
A truth left untold
A secret that lies beneath
Never to be revealed
Just to be kept
Till the day I die...

I Had Fun... With him around...

2006-08-08T13:28:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was a total stressful day for me. I dunno why. After my PQM test, which was ok ok despite unable to answer some questions, I really wanted badly to go somewhere to destress. I can't figure out why. But in the end I went home first. On the computer and chatted with my peepz in the radio.. Then struck the idea of planning for a chill out. It was totally last minute. Thank God lar there were some response. And so we headed to town to meet up. It wasnt that grand but the least tt I enjoyed maself coz he's ard. (hhhmmm??) Up for some bitching an cam-whoring session before heading to Lucky plaza to please our tummy. I didnt eat anything coz got no mood. Earlier, accompanied CHAOS and aDdiCt to BK and ate some of the fries with a few bite of the burger. Thatz all for my lunch and dinner. Oh wait, I had my sausage roll at home. Tu je ako makan smlm. Shall post the pics after i upload the pics k.

Nari ako keje... Besok ako keje... Besok National Day !! Nari ader bunga api tak dapat Tenok... Tak per ar... Besok Bleh tenok ar... Ngan Saper eh?? Ngan Dektu ke ngan Dia ?? Hmmm

HAPPY NATIONAL DAY TO ALL SINGAPOREAN !!!!!

THIS YEAR NATIONAL STADIUM WILL CELEBRATE ITS LAST NATIONAL DAY !!!

APE NI AKO MEPEK !!!

HAHAHA...

2006-08-06T11:42:00.000+08:00

My post are getting sadder and sadder everytime. Ranting about the same old shit. Hurtful relationship. Painful love. Unappreciative pple. Well, tell you wat. I m sick of wat I write too. So this is wat I'm gonna do.

Since Exams are round the corner and I wont be teaching tuition anymore, I have enough time to do my revision. Then I'll be back to earning my own bucks during the holidays. And I'll shall pamper myself if I got extra cash to a shopping spree, movies, chill outs and more ciggies !!! Hahaha. SO... THAT MEANS, I SHALL NOT CARE MUCH ABOUT PPLE EXCEPT MASELF. Coz at the end of the day, I can depend on no one except maself. Why give a hand to pple when you get shit in return. So see who is the person who "Pentingkan diri sendiri" Me or you. Huh !! If its me, den you made me !!! By wat u said !! *shrug*

M so sick of that ol shit when u say.. "You ni pentingkan diri sendiri", "I need my own space rite now to think about my stuff", "Org ngah stress tau tak, understand ar" and so on. I'm just sick lar. Seriously. But terpulanglah. If you say so, I'll just wait till you think you are ready to come running back to me.. Scoop every wealth that I haf. *Oh what the fuck am I saying*

Enough of me being Ms Nice to everyone. So much of friends in need huh! Where were u when I needed you?? Contact me only when he's not around. Kau pk ako ni aper? Tempat hiburan semetara?? Perlukan kau datang? Tak perlu carik lain. Eh ako manusia lah !! Ade perasaan. Kau paham tak?? Gi mampos ar!! Tak suke bleh blah k !!

Such an angry post. I dunno y. But I gotta go back to the books.. Test tomorrow and luckily left a chapter to go. Shud finish before setting of to werk. TooDLes..

PSP..PSP..PSP..PSP..PSP..PSP..PSP..PSP..PSP..
PSP..PSP..PSP..PSP..PSP..PSP..PSP.. PSP..PSP..
PSP..PSP..PSP..PSP..PSP..PSP..PSP..PSP..PSP..
PSP..PSP..PSP..PSP..PSP..PSP..PSP..PSP..PSP..

*Dreaming Away*

!! Last Warning !!

2006-08-05T03:14:00.000+08:00

Hati ingin berbicara
Dengan dirimu ku ingin berkata
Duhai sayang dimana dikau
Tiada khabar berita
Adakah kau lupa diriku
Insan yang menunggumu setiap waktu
Ku panggil namamu dalam mimpi
Dengan harapan kau akan kembali

Duhai kasih hati ini sering sayu
Tanpa kau disisi
Namun dirimu yang ku rindui
Adakah diriku ini akan dilukai
Katakanlah kepadaku
Seandainya tiada cinta
Tanpa berkata kau terdiam terpaku
Tanpa khabar kau menghilang begitu

Mungkinkah aku ini yang bersalah
Dalam episod kasih kita
Apakah silapku
Apakah salahku
Bersuaralah kasih, terangkan padaku
Jangan kau membuatku begini
Tergantung di benang yang tipis
Dimanakah arahku
Kemanakah tujuanku

Kembalilah sayang dalam dakapanku
Akan ku tunggu kepulanganmu
Selagi diri ini mampu
Biar pahit yang akanku telan
Biar lautan api akanku renangan
Kembalilah dikau
Walaupun kesedihan akan ku rasa.
Kembalilah...

I haf soo much to think. I dunno. I'm confuse. Where are you?? Where?? *Shuttup yanti*

Piscean Women ( 22 Feb to 21 March )

2006-07-31T21:06:00.000+08:00

I got this from Calida's blog while blog hopping.. Here it goes.. quite true..

PISCES - WOMEN (February 22nd and March 21st)

Physical Appearance:
Generally, Piscean women are seen to be not very tall and plumpy. The eyes are quite big and protruding. Hands and feet are either strikingly beautiful or else outproportioned, big and bulky. The shoulders are muscular and spherical.

Mental Attitude:
You are philosophical, restless and honest. You can go beyond your means to help people in need. Not perturbed easily, you can help even your opponents calm down by your gentle behavior. Your nature is to forgive and forget.

General Nature:
Your mind is not very steady. It often wanders from spiritualism to materialism. This reduces your concentration thereby making it difficult to achieve your full potential.A Piscean woman may also lack in self confidence. However that does not deter her from being an expert planner. You will aim very high and can develop right connections to achieve your aims.Generally, Piscians develop good connections that they encash at the right time. You are either at the top of the ladder or else at the bottom of it.Generally, Pisceans being too ambitious either rise to very high positions or else turn into dreamers and are unable to fight the battle of life.You will have a strong wish to go to foreign lands and visit beautiful places.

Health:
You may be drawn towards excesses that means you may be eating and drinking in excess, making you ill.You may suffer from varicose veins or guinea worms.Problems connected with lever, ankles and feet are possible. You should take care of them.

Money:
Generous by nature and ever helping your friends, you are unable to save much. Though due to your mental capacity, which is far in excess of women of other signs, you have a high income level. You will not like to depend on anyone for finances and you are wiling to do even extra work to keep your self financially secure.

Romance And Sex Life:
Very romantic by nature, you dream of romance. However you may feel somewhat frustrated as the dreams seldom come true in actual life.You are very suspicious, you will keep a tab on your lover and if you see him friendly with another women you feel the pinch.You are loyal and once you form a relationship, you continue it for a long time though sometimes you may feel a sudden loss of interest in your partner. Many a time, Piscean women can carry two or more relationships simultaneously.Having a basically shy nature, you are not the one who will make a move yourself in love life. You will expect your lover to make all the moves and you will only react to them. But, sometimes you can act completely differently.With deception , you can easily control your men with your superior brain and use them for your purposes.Any foreplay involving water will turn you on, feet are your hot spots.

Marriage:
You will dream of marrying a Mr. Perfect and you will want him to have all the qualities possible in a husband. But you will not be working hard to get him. Thus, chances of delay in marriage or a marriage which will not work are not ruled out.You will require a very diplomatic and well mannered husband to stay on.A Piscean woman keeps good upkeep of her house. Being yourself fond of food and drinks you will stock them well for guests also.For a stable married love life, you should check your dreamy nature and live in practical world.

Ideal Match:
Virgo and Cancer males are the best mates of a Piscean women.hmm..

Caution:
Having very high desires, dreams and a changeable nature are your worst problems. You should live in the practical world and be less utopian if you want to be successful.

Lucky Days, Numbers And Colours:
Thursdays, Tuesdays and Sundays are lucky for you.
1, 3, 4, 9 are your lucky numbers.
Red, Orange and Yellow are fortunate.

Recommended Gemstones:
Yellow, Sapphire, Pearl and Emerald are the lucky Gemstones for you. The Gem should be of a vibrant Aura and should have never been worn before. The weight of the Gemstone shall be decided as per your age and body weight

There you go.. Something for pisceans women and most of it is super true.. They just describe the person I m sia.. cool !! Wee !! I m off !! tOOdLes !!

Sehari Dalam Sejarah

2006-07-31T20:30:00.000+08:00

Tanggal 30 haribulan Julai 2006, menandakan hari yang bersejarah buat Perguruan Seligi Tunggal Angkatan dalam Pertandingan Pencak Silat Kebangsaan 2006. Dewan Sukan Bedok dikerumuni anak-anak Seligi yang bersemangat memakai seragam silat, memberi sorakan yang gemuruh untuk teman-teman yang bertanding pada hari itu. Ada yang dikalungkan pingat manakala ada yang tidak. Namun, kekalahan tidak akan meruntuhkan semangat yang membara di dalam jiwa setiap anak Seligi. Panji-panji Seligi dikibarkan dengan bangga. Dengan izin Yang Maha Esa, telah dikurniakan kemenangan buat Perguruan Seligi Tunggal Angkatan.

JUARA KESELURUHAN TANDING BAGI PRA-REMAJA
JUARA KESELURUHAN SENI BAGI PRA-REMAJA
JUARA KESELURUHAN TANDING BAGI DEWASA
JUARA KESELURUHAN BAGI DEWASA
PESILAT TERBAIK BAGI PRA-REMAJA - AISYAH

Dan Akhir sekali... Satu pencapaian yang dinanti-nantikan.. Seligi Tunggal Angkatan diumumkan sebagai..

JUARA KESELURUHAN !!!!!

*Syukur... syukur.. syukur Ya Allah.. Syukur.. Alhamdulilah!!*

Satu kepuasan buat setiap anak Seligi. Lebih2 lagi yang bertanding. Dan satu kebanggan buat guru utama .. Abang Ramli.. Namun kemanangan ini mungkin hanya sementara. Untuk mengukuhkan tempat kejuaraan ini, hendaklah setiap anak Seligi bekerja keras untuk mendapat lebih lagi kemenangan dalam masa hadapan. Insya allah..

** Stop the Melayu-ness**

I was sooooo happy to get the news that my perguruan got the OVERALL CHAMP K !! Thank God. But yeah. Like wat Abg Ramli had said, we have to work hard to retain the title and of coz to produce more pesilat who will bring pride to the team. I so wanna be in PSP. But dunno eh.
That means I need to train alot. And of coz train hard. Sebab ako ni bukan nyer bagus sgt mcm yang lain. Tendang pon tak pass. Haiz.. Think I need to go to the BPCC and Cairnhill Training. Insya Allah lar. Ok I gtg I guess. Need to start early revision for PQM.. Toodles !!

So Much In too little time

2006-07-27T12:06:00.000+08:00

I'm deprive of sleep....

3hrs of sleep each day..

Migraine attack now and then

Assignment piling up..

Exams drawing nearer

Late nite calls

Insomnia

I'm gonna look 5 times my age in no time

GOD HELP ME !!

I have noone but myself to blame due to making late nites phone calls. And of coz, not being able to sleep on school days make it werst. On top of that, my migraine. Life have been filled with busy-ness. After school hours will be off to work or tuition. If not I'll be working on assignments, reports and even test. Ok. I'm gonna wilt soon. But, I try to be a good daughter by not coming back too late. Or at least inform mom. Despite her being naggy sometimes, she seldom replimand(correct spelling tak?) me on coming back late on skool days. Coz I'm werking. Being home by earliest at 1 plus am and latest by 4am. And I know she mite be werried fer my health and my acedemics.

My past test have been sort of disasters. I just hope that I can scrap thru and at least pass all my second test. I can't afford to disappoint my parents no more. And my decision of not continuing my studies anymore.. Will they agree ?? Kak shikin, if you're reading this wat'ya think? I've been thinking of taking part time courses or degree that I know about. But the requirements... 3.0+ GPA ?? I hope I can do it..

I m in no right financial state to go for Retail Therapy... Been a while since I do that. I shall catch a movie one of these days before exams. I need to. Just to clear my mind beofre polluting them for my exams. Movie treat anyone?

My dearest lovely, cutey, cuddly sis have finally place the phone in my room. AGAIN !! So no more sneaking into my mom's room to "kebas" the cordless phone. I have my own phone in my room !! Yeasah !!! And oh, our Babyboy needed to be sent to workshop. Pretty sick I can say.. I hope its safe in the hands of the experts.. aKa "The bike surgeons" Muakakakkaka Ok I'm talking crap. Must be the lack of sleep tau !! Chett !!! I gtG!! More things await !!! Tata !!

Penyesalan Pada Masa Akhir Tak Berguna

2006-07-23T22:21:00.000+08:00

For the benefit of my English-reading readers, my title means " No use regretting in the end"
I have my reasons as of why I put my title like this. Frankly speaking, I have a lot to blog about. Really. So much that I dunno where to start. Ok lets start with the simple things first k. Today Alamak.com had their bowling tournament which lasted for 5 hrs from 10am-3pm. Everything went smooth. Alhamdulillah. Congrats to the organising committee for making this event a success. After the bowling we headed to Darul Mawa for our frendly match between Mawa and Alamak. I wasn't performing well. Thanks to the on and off migraine that I m having. But I was glad and touched to see the concern of my fellow mates who took good care of me. Thanks to you guys. Yes, I knew that I was being stubborn. But I just couldn't take the spirit that I saw from the team. So tempting ok. And it made me wanna play despite my illness.

Everything that happen today made me realise something very important. That I don't think its of any use regretting of what had happen between us. Yes, you and me. We're close. We used to be together.. Always. And one faithful day I made a decision which I think I have to bear with the consequences. But you continued to be there for me when I needed you coz you noe tt I m going thru tt difficult phase in life again. But then you somehow told me that someone had taken over your heart and I'm glad that you are happy now. Happy with that some one that you found. Syukur kepadaNya. Part of me is a bit down as I noe that I won't get much attention that I use to get from you once upon a time. But life has to go on. Like you said "If I stayed, doesnt mean I would have a chance to be with you again" True. I agree. But I m unsure myself. I'm like hanging on a thin piece of string just waiting for its time to snap. Will it snap or ever snap? I dunno. I'm confused. Its complicated. I'm in doubt. Yes, we're friends but its won't be the same when you have another person that you will pay attention to. But whatever that comes, I hope that you will be happy with her, the choice of your heart. Even if you say, you guys are only friends, I noe you will be much happier with her. May Allah bless the friendship that you are building. Ameen.

No one exactly know what happen between me and him. Its been a week since we contacted. I hope he's fine. Coz I m not doing fine without him. I m always trying to be fine. But everything that I see and hear around me reminds me of you. Cheers store, Blue KR, Phone booth and many more. I would just break down and cry. I miss you so much. But part of me was being stubborn. Not wanting to call you. Everyone keep asking about you. Where are you? What are you doing? How are you? How are you and me? The regular answer that I give "Working, Busy, Fine, We're ok." But deep down I cried, in my heart, thinking the situation of you and me. I felt sad coz I tot things between you and me are gonna end. That's what I feared. Coz I've seen break up that hurts even though it happen to someone else. They suffer. Some emotionally unstable. I pity them and gave them advice as much as I could. But I know that if things happen to me, I would end up like them too. Well baby, I just hope that no one come between us. No one. Nothing. PLEASE !!! Semoga Allah memberiku semangat utk menerusi hidup and alam percintaanku.. Ameen.

TaGgeD

2006-07-20T11:29:00.000+08:00

Ok fine !! Sis Kiara !! I shall be loyal to you ok ! (mcm paham) I will do that tagged thingy.. Chett!

Biodata
My Name:
Siti Haryanti.. Ok now everyone knows my name.. pPLe call me Yanti or HuNz

Hobbies:
bLog, cHiLLing wif ma peepz, CrYing (i do it almost every nite.. thatz e most frequent thang i do),dancing in ma room with the music blasting

School:
Pertapis, Lee Kuo Chuan Pri, San shan Pri, Damai sec, Singapore POly

( So maNy.. tired sia typinG )

Work:
Part time Barista at Wheelock Coffee Bean, Mom to all my cutie bears

Horoscope:
Pisces

Hair Colour:
bLack.. I wan iT dyeD !!

Eye Colour:
NormaL black

Skin Colour:
Dark Brown

Status:
iTs compLicated.. I'm a mom though

Last 5 digits of my mobile:
96151

Your Birthday:
7 March ( I m 19 already... Soon 20 )

Have You
Tried Smoking:
Yeapz.. and I m not afraid to admit

Drink Alcohol:

Yeap.. but no more

Been Hurt Emotionally:
aLL the Time.. But Thankfully I managed

Kept a Secret From Anyone:
aLot

Been on stage:
oF coZ.. Fer Drama.. daNce and prize ceremony *Do miss universe wave*

Favourites
Colour:
Pink, baby blue

Food:
For now, migraine piLLs (heex)

Number:
221102 (numbers that signify my memory)

Cartoon:
buTteRcuP (heex, i wanna be a hero )

Song:
What ever that kick my stress away

Movie:
YOu've Got Served !

Right Now
Wearing:
reD poLo t, khakis pants.. (do i need to go down under? hee. no need ar )

Hairstyle:
Shoulder length something2 (Kekeke)

Looking At:
pC, Thumbdrive, pPLe using the school free access

Thinking Of:
Dying my hair, Switching of my phone, soul searching, studying. aLot of things I m thinking abt

Listening To:
pPLe Chit Chatting.. I m in the Lib.. iTs Suppose to b e quiet k !

Do You Believe
In Love:
oF coZ.. No oNe can live without it. every one need love. But it hurts *Sobz*

Faith:

Yes.. Without faith, I wont be here.

Yourself:
i Do sometimes..

Angels:
i Do.. When can i meet one ?? *thinking*

Ghosts:
YeS.. They exist.. Coz they are human once.

In the Last 24 Hours
Wore Jeans:
ErR.. Yes

Cleaned your Room:
Nope ! haha

Cried:
12 hrs ago

Met Someone New:
i MeeT new ppLe all the time..

Last Person Whom i Talk To on The Phone:
aDdiCt (i Tink)

Love Life
Do You Believe in Love:
i Do... oF coz

Have a Secret Admirer:
MebBe

Do You Wanna Get Married:
YupZ... wiTh sOmeoNe.. BuT wELL, juSt let time tell

How Old You Wanna Be When You Have Kids:
24 (??) is tt too young?

How Many Kids Do You Want:
i'Ve pLaNneD 4 nameS. 2 boys 2 girlz (will they ever come thru)

oNe oF my Bear have gotten the name

Would You Have Kids Before Marriage:
weLL, i m not wholely against it.. BuT if shit happens.. Shit will happen *ShruG*

Do You Have a Crush:
no Time

What Do You Want Most In A Relationship:
Faith, Trust, sincerity, Love, concern, Happiness, HUMOUR !!

and more Love love love

In Random
Your Favourite Local Footballer:
i Dun reaLLy watch FooTball

3 People You Run To When You Have Problems:
mySelF, DaNi and Myself (hahaha)

3 Things You Do When You Are Stressed:
CrY, DayDream and Take a walk

3 Prominent Qualities of Myself:
Kecohrable, FeeL depress easily and sMaLL

What Would You Do If You Have 1 Million Dollars:
1/4-charity, 1/4 both parent, 1/4- saving 1/4-studies

Are You a Jealous or Insecure Freak:
weLL of coZ.. more to insecure. Haven found a soul that make me feel secure yeT

Favourite Secondary School Teacher:
caN't remember.. oh k.. Cikgu Syed, but he past awaY recently.. He is such a nice guy

People You Like To See Doing This Thing:
Ma sis, kiki, CT, kak shikin

(korang jadi mangsa !! huakakkaka)

Unfaithful ?? Am I??

2006-07-19T22:14:00.000+08:00

Unfaithful.. Am I guilty of that? I keep asking myself dis question everytime I hear the song. By Rihanna. Have I been unfaithful to him. And blaming it on him that he wasnt treating me well.? Yes I admit that I have been going out with some guy friends. Does that make me unfaithful ? Does it? Sometimes, I even acted as if we're more than friends (if you knowwat I mean). Does that make me unfaithful. But to be honest, each time that happens, I haf him in my head and the thought of the person tt I m with was him. It was like an illusion. and then I mite feel bad about it. But all I want was to be with him but he's not there.

Andainya aku lah yang tidak setia untukmu, maka biar aku yang dapat pembalasan nya. Biar Tuhan yang menberiku pembalasan yang setimpal dengan kesalahanku. Akan ku terima dengan rela hati. Kerana aku tahu kesalahanku ini.

By, I'm sorry if I wasn't faithful to you.
Maybe Ma don't deserve a guy like you
Like many mite think that you are a no good guy
Ma know y
I made you that way.
I made you into someone you're not
Ma is to blame for all this.
You are right all the time
I made pple hate you
I m the culprit here.
Let me admit, I m the bad one here
I am unfaithful to you
I deserve what ever that happen to me now.
Ma harap By akan temui seorang insan yang bukan mcm Ma
Walau sejauh mana rasa kasih dan sayang Ma pd By
Ma takkan maafkan diri Ma bcoz of this.
Andainya dirimu itu bukan milik ku
Biar Tuhan yang menunjukkan.

At Last Updated

2006-07-15T12:35:00.000+08:00

Ok for the benefit of those who've been tagging me and ask me to update, fine.. I will. The weeks haf been rough on me and I m down with migraine. Seems that it is getting werst by the day. But I could handle it. Only when the pain is too much. I cant help it but cry and haf difficulties sleeping. This is the result of too much thinking and stress. But mebbe at the back of it, ada hikmah disebalik ape yang terjadi.

I haf started werking at Coffee Bean and thank God, I could cope with the crowd and the Ice blend making. But still abit slow and Blur (new mah !!) The peeps were a crazy and fun bunch. I'm glad that i got along well wif them by my second day which was yesterday.

Just hope things can go fine between you and me. Despite what I heard and got to know of, I hope you can explain that to me. If my name in your heart have faded and a new name haf been engraved, tell me. Coz that's when I shall pack my boxes of memories, tears and pain. Embarking on a new journey of uncertainty. Being an audience to a beautiful new drama of you and whoever it shall be. But once and for all, no matter what, this heart will always love you.

Ok oK !! I've updated !! wee heee..

Rite here where I started

2006-06-29T11:06:00.000+08:00

I don't even know how my post will be related to the title.. But wat the hell kan !! Its just a title wat. Haiya !! Here I am blogging while waiting for my 12pm class to start. Ok Zee juz walked passed and I just hugged her. That was so random. Bodoh kan !! Anyway, AIA test tomorrow. Ok, AIA is a module I have in skool ok. Some mite mistake it as the insurance (or watever u call it) company. Dammit. I m suppose to be studying la. Later will be werking and by the time I reach home I don't think that I will b studying. Pfft. I shall just state some random thoughts ok. So malas wanna elaborate.

Random thought 1 : There's a new module for DCP IC year two students, Forensic Chemistry. Sounds interesting ?? Yeah. Why didnt they have that during my time. Like wat the f**k kan. Can I go back to year 2 ??

Random thought 2 : I think they are starting to fine pple who smokes outside the skool. Grrr.. Why now? *doh*

Random thought 3 : The wild card contestant of SG IDOL are kinda disappointing. 80% like cannot make it. Haiz. Well, I m not a good singer either. But I need good singers for good musical entertainment.

Random thought 4 : I found ATV to be much friendly for me. Shall ask dad to change his car to ATV. Heh..

That's it lar. I'm blogging in public. Will be back to blogging after the weekends Okie. WeeeE!!!

2006-06-28T20:01:00.000+08:00

I told myself that I cannot blog today. But here I m blogging away. Actually got lotsa things to blog about. But I think I need to start hitting th books already. I've got a test tomorrow followed my another on Friday and a presentation to be completed by Friday and Sunscreen to buy by Next wednedsay and research to be done before the next discussion with my FYP mates. Oh man !! Suddenly I m soooo busy. I think I will be bringing books to study on Saturday to PSK. I still haven found a partner for my DTN case study manz !! Mati liao!! Anyone ?? Ok what ever. Hmmm... SG IDOL start already and Imma watch while studying.. Ok bYe !!

Bad Day..

2006-06-27T17:35:00.000+08:00

I had a really bad day today. I did it again. Dammit. I was glad that u msg-ed to thank me. But I still hasn't gotten over what happen last nite. The way you talk to me. Thats why I was kinda rude to you and started to pour out my unhappiness.

Yesterday nite you called asking for a big favour from me. I was angry since you would only call when you need a favour. I couldnt understand why I help someone whom I felt didnt appreciate my helping. By the way you talk, by the way you react. It sadden me. Made me angry. I shed tears of anger. Was at the verge of punching the wall. But I controlled. You made me do it. YOU made me wanna do it. GosH !! Why do I keep giving in.

But I knew I love you. That you're the only one that I wanna be with. But just let nature takes its cause (or course) . If we're meant to b together, then together we shall be. For whatever reason, I do still love you.

So much of my sad entries. I shall find something more interesting to blog about.

All I wanted was for us to be happy.
Having our lives together despite the ordeal that we mite face.
Baby, you meant alot to me.
I can't lie to myself.
As much as I hate the pain that I mite have gone thru
I love you with all my heart.
Yours Truly,
Me

Monday Blues

2006-06-26T20:27:00.000+08:00

I managed to end my 1st day of the term in school safely. No embarrassment. No selenger-ness. Hahaha. But as usual, being the late queen of the class I was always am and will be, I managed to be marked present during my first class. YiPpiE !! I survived my first two hours of the day. EIC was kinda fun today. I dunno y. I was extra responsive, despite my actual mood. Did I really show my real actual mood like obviously just now ?? Hmmm, my so called twin, Isaac was like.. Hey gerl.. why so moody.?? Fite with him rite?? Relax lah.. Eh how you noe ar.? Can read my mind issit?

Iz, if you are reading this, which I think you wouldn't. If you do, tag me ok! I m ok my darling. Really. I see no point of continuing my anger and sadness for a long time. I got no strength and stamina to do that. I just wanna live my life to the fullest liao. I cried too much. I got no tears to cry already. I was angry alot of times. Now got no strength to do so. Tired you know. Hahahaha..

Ok ok.. Back to school.. B-O-R-I-N-G !! I fell asleep in PQM lesson. Cannot tahan!! Still holidae mode. And so we had a 5 blardy hours of break after that. I managed to finish my DTN case study !! Yippie!! I m planning to start my formal report. BY TONIGHT!! Yes !! Please !!! So lets see what's the in thing for me.. In accordance to due date..

1) FRAG CHEM TEST - THURSDAY
2) AIA TEST - FRIDAY
~~3) DTN CASE STUDY (DR YIN) - FRIDAY~~
4) FRAG CHEM PRESENTATION - NEXT WEEK
5) DTN FORMAL REPORT- NEXT WEEK
6) PQM CASE STUDY - 5 JULY
7) DTN CASE STUDY (AMOS) - WEEK 14

Ok lah.... GtG... Bye !!

THE SILAT DAY OUT..

2006-06-25T21:59:00.000+08:00

Wee.. Went to watch PSK just now at Bedok. Darn it was fun okay !! Abg Zul, Syikin and Abg Rafili were all fighting. Mind you, they are all children of our guru utama, Abg Ramli. So no wonder they are good. Haha.. I wish to be like them one day. Hah!! pray harder gal !! Still remember the part when, Abg Zul ALMOST knocked his opponent out. ALMOST ok.. But the opponent stood up. DAMN !! W were all waiting for the opponent lie flat and not stand up.. Unfortunately he did.. But, nevertherless Abg Zul won. So happy can!! And one after the other the match progresses. Wins and loses for SELIGI TUNGGAL ANGKATAN... And for a moment, I felt that some of the match that we lost were just unbelievable... I mean, we could have won. Unfortunately, I dunno what were going on in the judges and refs mind. I saw some of our pesilat who could have won, cried, disappointed mebbe.. Its okay guys. There's always next time. If we lose, take it as a lesson.. Hehe.. mcm paham jek lar ako ni..

Can't actually wait for my time to come. To be in the arena and fight for victory. For myself and my club. Must be a very good feeling tau !! But I need to improve on my tendangan, speed and accuracy.. Oh man Oh man.... PSP is in December. Where the adults and teenagers will meet and fight for victory.. Hehe... Need to train more and be much better than now. So can prepare for December. Insya allah. I think I need to go and finish up my assignment. School starts tmrw... B-O-R-I-N-G !!! BoOhOo!!

S-I-C-K !!!

2006-06-24T11:24:00.000+08:00

I'm just too sick of this situation that I m in. Yes. Nevertherless, I do cry. BUT !! Not as much as I always did. I just wish that things can just go away and don't bother my mind. I can't depend on anyone. Not even YOU !! Yes you.. Not even some friends of mine. I m in no mood to do anything. Not even going for my floorball training. Not even to do my assignments. ANYTHING at ALL !! But I just feel like working, earn MY OWN pocket money and then enjoy as much as I want. However, I feel that I m craving more for my SILAT training. I don't know why. Unfortunately, I can't go for much training especially during the weekdays and Sundays coz I mite be werking. But I'll try werking it out !! Despite knowing my suckiness at my tendangan, I still feel good after the training. If only I haf a punching bag at home. I wont cry no more. (i hope) I'll just punch till my hands hurt and when I'm tired. I'll stop. Then I'll sleep. How I wish Huh!! My brother still haven't pass me my padding ok!! When lar dey !! When??

Gonna be going to my nephew Bday later at about three with dad and sis. Mom's not coming. Well, I noe why. But all of you don't need too. Hah! And I'm gonna be going for SILAT training in the evening. YiPpiE!! PssSt... I think I have a crush on someone. Shan't say who.. Hahaha !! So sis, no need to think so much. Don't ask me who !! whisper I can handle that *winks*

Hmmm... I feel like getting a new phone. Will it be N6280 or N6131 ?? Which one will I get. Tot of asking dad to get it for me. Please daddy.. Please. I promise to be good okie !! Hehehe ... But still.. Which one??? Aiya !! And I was planning not to use any line. Switching to pP8. Whether you like it or not. I have my reasons. If not bcoz of you ! I won't make dis decision. Well, sometimes I just feel that I hate you so much for making me go thru all this. Sometimes I just feel like telling you off and screw you upside down. But you say I was rude. And then you would scold me. And hit me. (not so hard) Then I will be dumbfounded and just shut up. Why ar? Why liddat? Keep asking myself but I cant find the answer. Dammit !! Urgh !! Oh Wat the hell...

I think I wanna get myself a PSP. And many2 games. Then when I'm bored I'll just play. I want many2 fighting games. Many2 !!! Wah ! I suddenly become so violent. Hahaha. I oso think of breaking again. Eh gerl !! You wan so many things !! Crazy issit?? Mebbe.. Hahaha.. This is what I call impulsive thought. And if I got alot of cash. I'll go on impulsive shopping. What they call it... Retail Therapy eh ?? Aiya.. Wat ever lar !! Just got a msg from my SILAT mate..

friend: hello ni ****** i noe its a bit late but today if bdk2 toa payoh nak datang kan be at bpcc at 1230.
me: ade aper?
friend: PSK.. pat bedok.. I noe it was boring last week but i think this week will be better..

I wanno go!! I wanna go!! I wanna go can!! Aiya!! But got my nephew chalet.. *sigh* Tmrw oso have.. I think going tmrw lar.. Sorry guys.. Can't give you guys support today. Besok can !! Haha..

Shall continue blogging tonyt and hope to post pics of what I m craving for okie !! TooDLes..

Dedication...

2006-06-22T23:06:00.000+08:00

This post will be dedicated not only to ONE person but three. I shan't disclose any names but some might already guess who they are.

To My sis Kiara (this is the only one tt I will disclose the identity)

I thank you for the post that you haf typed for me. I was touched. I was blessed to know that I still haf people caring about me even after I haf disappoint them in my past. I guess they know more about my future more than me. My fate. Sis, your entry made me cried. Not because I was sad. But coz I was happy that you cared and bothered to take sometime to wake me up by that entry. You made the effort to pour your feelings. You bother to advice me even when my reaction made you mad. Your patience is your strength. Your advices are appreciated. For that, I thank you. So much.

To whom It May concern Pt 1

I haven heard from you for a while and I hope you are doing fine. Was listening to some songs and I came across a song that you like. That once I didnt bother to understand the meaning. But now I do. I hope you are doing fine. I bet you'd be more fine den me. I miss you. Where are you? How are you? Let's just sit down and talk alryte? If we can't work out then, let nature takes its cause. I'm weak now. The decision is in your hand. I dedicate this song.. To you..

Aku tak percaya lagi
Dengan apa yang kau beri
Aku terdampar disini
Tersudut menunggu mati

Aku tak percaya lagi
Akan guna matahari
Yang dulu mampu terangi
Sudut gelap hati ini

Aku berhenti berharap
Dan menunggu datang gelap
Sampai nanti suatu saat
Tak ada cinta kudapat

Kenapa ada derita
Bila bahagia tercipta
Kenapa ada sang hitam
Bila putih menyenangkan

Aku pulang....
Tanpa dendam....
Ku terima... kekalahanku...

Aku pulang...
Tanpa dendam...
Kusalut kan .. kemenanganmu...

Kau ajarkan aku bahagia
Kau ajarkan aku derita
Kau tunjukkan aku bahagia
Kau tunjukkan aku deritaKau berikan aku bahagia
Kau berikan aku derita..

Rebahkan kalbumu
Lepaskan perlahan
Kau akan mengerti
Semua..

Aku berhenti berharap
Dan menunggu datang gelap
Sampai nanti suatu saat
Tak ada cinta kudapat..

To whom It may concern Pt 2

You were there when I needed someone. When I actually had fallen and hurt myself. You were there when I was heartbroken. But, I hurt you. I bruised you. I let go of you. Just thinking I wanted to pursue in the journey that I wanted. The journey that I wanted to be happy in. Unfortunately, at this point of time, that journey was stopped. And suddenly, I felt that it was Karma. Coming for me. I didnt mean to hurt you. But I did.You must have hated me for that. You mite be up for revenge. I don't mind. I don't care. I deserve that. Besides, you had carried on with life now and I won't interfere. And I know I can never enter your life anymore. I won't let myself. I can't bear to hurt you for the second time. But like I said and always mean it, I won't forget the memories of the people who entered my life and leave their footprints. They will always be remembered. I chose this path, and so, I need to live it. Despite the ordeals. I have to bear these consequences.

I need to sleep. I hope I can sleep well tonite. I wish I wish I wish... I pray... Praying hard.

Now I Realise

2006-06-22T12:41:00.000+08:00

It's so nice to be home till the afternoon. M having driving later at 4. I shall be productive today to finish up my DTN and also sending my PPCHEM assignment which is due TOMORROW !! YEah ! Its not often that I actually finish my assignments days before the deadline ok. Its always DAY.. As in a day before. Hahaha !! Well, however I realise that I did extra work ! Hah! How silly.. Hard working lah katakan eh !! Ask to do one part, I did both. Ppft!! Total stupidity. And so its left with DTN and studying for FRAG CHEM. I shan't procastinate !! GO YANTI GO !!

Yesterday headed to skool early in the morning for discussion for FRAG CHEM presentation. And then headed to eat PRATA with my group mates before heading to work. I shan't elaborate my working day. But however, my mood wasnt there at all. I always told myself not to cry in front of my friends anymore. I don't wanna let em see me suffer. My pain. I wanna keep it to myself.. But unfortunately, I did. I cried. I just couldnt help it. I cried.. Pouring out whats on my mind. I thank my friends for comforting me. *HugS* U all many2.

I shall start my work now.. Blog again laters... Toodles !!

You still haven't call. I wonder why. Where are you ? How are you ? What are you doing? I just miss you so much baby.. I do.. I really do... Please come back.. Please

So Near Yet So Far

2006-06-20T22:54:00.000+08:00

Brought the kids for a swim in the morning. We left home a lil late as it was raining and I seriously was at the verge of cancelling it. Must be the mood swing that I was having. While waiting for the arrival of my cousins I just laid on my bed when my mind seems to wonder off. And there I was. Started crying AGAIN !! I couldnt control myself. But I noe I had to be strong and face the reality. Hold my ground. Stand on my own two feet. At the end of the day, I haf only myself to depend on.

Its weird how things can be. You can be so near. But yet too far. Geddit. You can be very cool in one week and then things go haywire by the next. Its weird how you can be very strong in one moment and den by the next you found yourself lost in your own thoughts. You dunno wat to do. Who to talk to. All you did was lying on your bed and start crying and crying till you fall asleep. And then waking up the next day with a throbbing headache that you wish you'd rather die, than facing another day.

Anyway, back to swimming, there were too many cute stuff happening at the swimming complex. My 7 year old kuzzy fall of the slide in the most impossible yet possible way ever and wat not. I had a good laff and fer the moment I forgot about my pain. Just for awhile. Then had my driving in the evening. I was thinking of doing my DTN but wat the hack man ! The moment I open the file. I was like.. LOST !! I shouldnt elaborate anymore. Still haf the other DTN to do and studying for FRAG CHEM !! My goodness !! Can someone please do something !! Like when its holiday means its holiday.. No assignments !! We want to rest okay... Holiday still need to study. Where got enough rest !! Mati tau !! School starts next week *Gasp*

My headache is killing me. I think I need to sleep already. Tmrw goin school for FRAG CHEM discussion. Then work !! Argh !! Is this what holiday is all about. Since I aint a soccer fan. So watching world cup is like not the important part of my daily schedule. But I guess, that'll be replace by werking ?? Ah whatever. I need sleep.

The Silence...

2006-06-19T10:53:00.000+08:00

Been sometime since i last blogged huh. Oh well, have been spending time outside lately with my frends. And coming back late just to get scolding from my mom. I'm use to that. Having sleepless nites and wetting my pillow to sleep (crying.. not wetting in other sense.. Duh!).

Went out with my drama khakis on Thursday. Had a movie and then headed to Esplanade to chill and crap all the way. What were we talking about? Well, leaving me with the three musketeers (Shahid, Shane and Ben) they common SEX and DIRTY talks crap keep pouring out of their mouth. And oH! Shane, criticizing me on my height. FUCK you NERD !! Haha. Ended the day by eating at Carl's Jr. God ! The burger is damn big.. Size of BK's whopper . *Faint* That leaves Ben and Shane the who big mouth to finish their burgers.. Haha

Friday was out with Geng UNO to Youth Park to witness Breakdance Battle Of The Year Singapore for the FERST time ever. Singapore gonna be in BOTY !! Coolness rite !! Well, only got to witness the elimination round. The battle was on Saturday. Didnt get to see coz got wedding to attend to. But the groups were awesome !! Seriously, I miss the times when I was actively involve in the scene.. But, I sacrificed *sigh*. If only I knew things turn out not the way I expected, I would've continued. But what's done is done.. I have to live wif it. *Double sigh*

Was on my way home when I got a call from HIM. YES, I was happy that I received that call. VERY happy. But it was shortlived. I dun wanna elaborate. But for sure.. I miss HIM.. I miss HIM very much.. So much that I had sleepless nites. Waking up just to find my fone, SILENT. No calls. I sleep no days without crying. Thinking of you.. Praying that'll you'll call despite your claimed busy schedule. Just to hear your voice. OR even better to meet you. Mebbe I made a mistake. I had no one to blame but myself. Yes ME ! I regretted being rude to you. But sometimes, when you cant control your anger things go haywire.

If only you could read what's written here, you know that I don't pretend. I never lied in this relationship that we had held on fer almost 4 years. Not when it comes to stuff concerning you and me. Not even a second.

If only someone could tell you how much I kept thinking of you and missing you, you will know what I'm feeling.

If only you could be honest to me pertaining our relationship, I'll appreciate it. No matter how bad the outcome can be.

If only you hadn't avoided me and answer my calls I would have told you how much I miss you and wish that we could spend sometime together.

But things seems to change now. I dunno why. I seems to hear your laughter and see your smile in my dreams. Each nite I sleep. Just waking up with swollen eyes and a heavy head. Haiz.. What's there more to say. I just leave it to ALLAH to decide for me.

Shut uP !!

2006-06-14T15:51:00.000+08:00

What ever have I been doing during the week of MIA-ing Huh?? I can't remember. All I noe is that I had a rather rough weekend. Well, Oh watever !! I dunno whether to talk about it. But, nehmind.

Just hate it when I receive no calls, not even a short while from that certain someone. Call me petty, (however u spell it) call me irritating I dun care. Fine, this is just me. Just by answering my call or even calling me a short while everyday or even every hour of the day make me feel... remembered and cared. These simple stuff are my only expectation. But do you noe ?? Do you realise ?? Mebbe.. Mebbe not.. So what you call dis ?? Err.. Report Strength eh?? What ever u guys call that k. But all I noe it makes me feel good. Coz, u do it. I'll do the same. I dun mind. I dun care. So yeah. FULLSTOP .

Oh now then I remembered what was done. Had PTN on Thursday and ate at Breeks Marina with my classmates. I had BBQ Half Chicken. It was Superb !! I must haf made the others Drool watching me eat my meaty.. every tender.. tasty chicken !! So Kids, what's the lesson learnt when eating at Breeks.. DON'T ORDER FISH IF YOU FEEL HUNGRY !! Understood !!

And then went to catch DVD session over at Isaac's friends place near Bugis. Watch Scary Movie but by the second round, every one knocked out !! Hah !! Must be from the Drinking ryte guys !! Hah !!

Lets skip Friday.. Had Floorball training on Saturday and GOD DAMMIT !! I sucked !! Obviously !! Wat the FUCK !! My Stamina is pulling me down and my technique.. Uh Uh *thumbs down* And then back home to rest before preparing for silat. I suddenly fall in love with the training. Well, its different when you are involve in these two sports. One is a team sport the other is just individual. I shall say that the satisfaction of an individual sports is much better than a team sport. Coz you when you win, you knoe that you've werked hard enough on your own. Anyhoos, I m still gonna get involve in both. The instructor wants me to join Pertandingan next year, and wan me to come down for more trainings. Insya allah.. Had to plan my time between school, werk and training. Training means both silat and floorball okie !!

After Saturday, was pure school, work and car practical. Ah !! I dun wanna talk about all this lar.. BORING !!! I think I'm off to Maksu's house. Shall get back to my case studies at nyte !! Toodles..

Shall I wait for your call?? Oh hold on.. Will you even call.?? If you do.. Just wanna say..
I MISS YOU BABY !!! *hugs hugs* *sobz*

The song of you and me..

SEIKHLAS HATI

Di saat yang Indah Ini..
Terbayangi wajahmu
Inginku Hidup bersamamu
Hingga ke akhir hayatku

Tidak pernah ku membela
Kasih sayangmu
Cintaku hanyalah utkmu
Seikhlas hatiku

Pada kali pertama
Kita Bertentangan mata
Hati ku bak gelora
Penuh Dgn Cinta Asmara

Tidak pernah ku membela
Kasih sayangmu
Cintaku hanyalah utkmu
Seikhlas hatiku

Ape Lah Bodoh??!?!?

2006-06-07T23:56:00.000+08:00

Apsal ako nyer title gitu eh??Scratch head Ape ako buat nari eh ?

Nothing actually.. Hah

FYP discussion

E-learning Lesson (At last!! Its done!)Ako ni paling benci ni part teacher bagi assignment suruh buat report.. Lemme count how many I haf in total.. 1..2..3..8 !!
Eight !! Lapan !! Oh My god !! Haiyo !! Bang Head

Had dinner with my dearest Baby at Bugis. He with his nasi ayam and me my fried fish soup !! Totally in love with it now !! Heavenly !! Ahh !! Poor baby had some shit happening at work. But was glad that he was okie at the end of our dinner. Must be that his hunger is gone. Love him to bitss!! And now he's making his way to JB to get his bike fix. Takper lar.. Asal dier slamat sudah.. Sayang die !! Heh !!

I think that is all for today..

And oh !! SG IDOL !! The girls didnt interest me at all. AT FIRST to be exact.. But the last three was not bad.. Rahimah, Jasmine and Gayle. Bagus jugak ar.. Which ever two that get in.. Good enuf.. Not the ferst 4 I hope! Whatever it is.. PAUL is still my DARLING okie !! Hmmph !! Immitating PAUL's hair *I'm here without you baby* Melts

Dah !! Dah !! Cukup !! Nak tido !! Bye!

The Day I recover My password and Username !! How Silly !!

2006-06-06T13:50:00.000+08:00

Nyeahah !! At last..! I hav found my password and my username. Weird huh ! Forgetting both the username and the password of your own account !! OWN ACCOUNT ok !! How silly !! Hmph ! Its the start of E-learning week and honestly speaking ! This is when I feel that its much better going to school rather than stay at home and using the computer. Anyhoos, the traditional way of studying is still the best. NOTES... SCRIBBLING... DRAWING... BLA BLA BLA...

2 weeks of school break will follow on. However, I still need to go to school for my FYP discussion and lab work.. AND after that will be a new transformation of me being a PROMOTER. Yeah I m working. And on some days mite be doing my car practicals. What the hell.. Seems like no holiday at all for me. Ah !! 8th June CLASS OUTING !!! Gi makan !! Yeasah !! So wat's after that?? Clubbing?? Chilling ?? Midnight Movie?? What ar??

By the way, anyone think u wanna spend some time making a layout for me.?? Something that show my personality.. Something mebbe simple but meaningful. Coz I aint a constant skin changging person.. I'd rather stay to the one that I prefer.. Ok Ok.. I shall get back to the report that was actually due yesterday. And my e-learning stuff. Stupid E-Learning..!! Hah ! So much of being to angry !!

The Beginning

2006-04-19T20:47:00.000+08:00

I've decided tat after going thru a rough journey in my life.. a blog is where I can pour out my feelings.. I have long abandoned my previous blog and now, back to blogging once again. Every one make mistakes and some of it are just unforgettable, unerasable. For me, they are.. really are. I'm executing on a new journey called reality. My past will never be forgotten as it was stepping stone for me on this journey. The journey that I will continue. Once I noe when I will stop. Only I noe when I will move on. Only me.. Coz WHEN HEART SPEAKS we listen. We follow?? Or not? Thats our decision. So I welcome you on my journey.. My life.. My reality..

** I Speaks My Words & Bear The Consequences ** << HiMm & HeRr >>